Watching You Watching Me

Tales of Maddie Black

...or should it be tails, mateys? Yaar and avast, lubber scum! Lock up your vittles and guard your vitals, or Maddie the Pirate--

Well, enough of that. Apparently you humans recently observed something called Talk Like a Pirate Day. I'm sorry to say the things you do to amuse yourselves can be rather stupid.

Which is not to say I don't indulge myself in a bit of piracy now and then. If Macks and Deer are so incautious as to leave delicious baked goods unattended it's only right and natural that I invoke the right of salvage and claim them for myself!



Pita in a lunchbag? Mine to plunder! Bread in the cupboard? I'll take carbohydrates over pieces of eight! I am Black Maddie, Queen of the Counter-Top!

Speaking of which...

From Maddie:

Speaking of favorite sleeping spots, I thought I'd share our current favorites with you! Probably our most favorite spots is anywhere we can make a cat pile! On top of the couch cushions... or nestled in the corner of a chair... If we do opt to a go solo, I - being a traditionalist - go for the tried and true, such as the ever-popular office chair: However, I think I should get some style points for my superb paw placement! Washie is just weird. His latest favorite is on top of our scratching board toy that we got for Christmas last year! Whatever, Washie!

Bonus!

We are very lucky kitties. Not only do we have lots of fun toys, good yummies, and a bunch of wonderful napping spots, but we have two very special Poppas!

Happy Poppa's Day! We luvs on you lots!

Reading is fun!

First things first!

From Maddie:

For some reason or another, I wasn't having too much luck Tweeting and on Facebook. Then it hit me...I'd probably do a lot better if I could understand what all of those goofy little symbols on the screen meant! I think it's call wreeding...or maybe, reading? I dunno...I'm not too good spelling yet, either!

I started out nice and slow with some very pretty books with pictures of big Kats in them!


Now, I'm on to books with the symbols in them. I can never remember, though, if you wreed the symbols from left to right, or from top to bottom! This is very confusing to me. I think I need some comfort food.

Bonus Adventure!

It seems Macks has featured us at his own web domain, Malevolent & Benign. We don't recall granting permission to use our lovely mugs to give color and interest to his otherwise drab site, but this once we'll allow it. Click the image below for more.

Somebody's been sitting in my chair...

From Maddie:
I was looking forward to some lazy Sunday morning Tweeting, when I noticed that someone was in my usual spot. At first glance, it looked like my Dumb Brother hogging the office chair again. But, wait a minute, Washie doesn't have white pawz....

INTRUDER!

Could it be Seattle/Chicago Beastie?

Another Beastie altogether? Were Deer and Macks trying to tell us something by inviting another Kat into OUR home? Didn't they love us anymore? Pass me the tissue and some comfort food...

Upon further inspection, none of the above disastrous scenarios were true. With her pretty string and sticks, Deer actually knitted said Beastie for the daughter of her wonderful boss:

Still, we had to make to sure. It really did look like Washie.

Whew! This Beastie definitely wasn't a threat and it went to its new home during the little girl's birthday party today. So, I'll pass on the tissue and the comfort food...well, maybe I'll take a little comfort food just in case...

Someone doesn't know how to share

From Washie

Ever since Maddie figured out how to turn on the computer, she's been absolutely impossible! As soon as Deer and Macks go off mousing for the day, she immediately jumps on the computer and hogs it all day long! If she isn't updating her Facebook page, she's busy Tweeting or checking in with LinkedIn.




Doesn't she understand that there are far more important things to do? For instance, my complex web of spies has informed me that the Seattle Beastie has changed locations in an effort to thwart my efforts to search and destroy. I can sense that he is much closer than before but I need the Internets to help me determine is exact coordinates. Priorities, dear Sister...priorities!

All's Well That Ends Well

From Washie:
If the Big Yellow Monster that lives in the front closet isn't enough...

We usually know when Deer is planning on taking that crazy thing out for its weekly walk. When Macks goes to the front closet, it's usually a good thing as that's where our Bird Toy lives and he likes to make it play with us! However, when Deer does, it can only mean one thing.

She totally messed us up this weekend though - she was gone on Saturday morning when she normally takes that #$(*! thing out. When she came home, we were pleasantly snoozing in the warm, Spring sun in the bedroom. Apparently, she didn't want to bug us so she went about some cleaning first, including this weird thing where she gives the kitchen floor a BATH!!! After a while, there wasn't anything left to do but to take the Monster out. Maddie was already safe and sound in another room but I was trapped, TRAPPED, I tell you, in the bedroom. There's only one way out to the Safe Room (aka the spare room nestled behind Deer's pretty string boxes) and that's through the kitchen.

Unfortunately, the floor hadn't completely dried after its bath. That wasn't about to stop me though and I was determined to make it to safety. Like a speeding bullet, I started across the wet floor, only to skid and slide and skid some more! The best thing to do when that happens is to puff out your tail and give Deer a good loud hiss to show my obvious displeasure with her! She tried to help me out by carrying me across the wet floor (why do you people feel compelled to give the floor a bath?!?) and into the Panic Room, but I was pretty mad at her and I hissed some more. I think she got the point.

It took a while for me to forgive her, but the warm sunshine certainly helped restore my good humor. I think she felt pretty bad 'cause she gave me a fishie treat and treated the belly to a good scratch and nuzzle.

My tummy is pretty cute:





Even Maddie couldn't resist!

Silly fidgets

From Washie:

Let's face it: plotting to take over the world, tracking down my arch-nemesis, the elusive Seattle Beastie, napping, using the litter box, napping, continuing WrestleMania 2009 with Maddie, napping, and stealing bits of Deer's pita pockets can stress out any feline! Sometimes, you just gotta let your fur down and get your silly fidgets on!

Long known for what Deer calls "my happy feet", the first thing I did was to prance a bit on Macks' papers on the dining room table while he was trying to write on them. That was fun!

Then, it was time to practice my tail yoga. I like to keep my tail most flexible and achieve a sense of inner peace through a series of poses.


At these times, my mind is at its clearest and I can often come up with my most creative solutions for finding the Seattle Beastie afterwards!

After that, the only thing left on Silly Fidgets To-Do List was a game of Camera Cat & Mouse with Deer! She tries so hard to get me to stand still for pictures and I love, love, LOVE to convince here I'm going to stay in one super adorable pose...then, I fake her out but good just as she thinks she got the perfect picture of me and it turns out all blurry!



Whoa, dude, check me out...I'm psychedelic!





Let me tell you, she gets very, um, creative with her language after a while. Then I know its time for me to stop that game and give her a chin-scooch and smooch!

Tradition!

Hooray! It's finally here, National Napping Day! Not that ever stops us from partaking naps every chance we get, but it's nice to have it officially sanctioned!

We have no idea why Deer hates this day so much...she just grumbles about "losing an hour of sleep" and the "weekend is one hour shorter!" What's a weekend? She doesn't seem to fully appreciate the true and utter wonderfulness that is napping.

...well, maybe she does 'cause - as she had a hard time sleeping at all last night - she spent most of the afternoon cuddled up with us in very similar fashion:

I don't get you humanz

From Washie:
Unlike you people, we felines keep things pretty simple. We structure our days around only 3 things: playtime, nap time and dinner time. We are bewildered, too, over your seemingly endless parade of holidays: Christmas, Passover, Thanksgiving, Halloween, Valentine's Day, St. Patrick's Day, etc. etc. ETC! Again, we only have 2 holidays: National Take A Nap Day (in case you are not familiar with that, it happens the day after Daylight Savings Time...it's just around the corner!) and, from our Japanese counterparts, National Tuna Day (October 10). Speaking of which, imagine my great surprise when I was admiring my Japanese cousin's picture this month when I saw this!

Washington's Birthday?! Ok, I admit, I was pretty flattered when you holiday-happy humanz decided to make my birthday some sort of national day of jubilation! I was eager to learn more about this so one day, when Macks and Deer weren't looking, I hopped on the computer and Googled "Washington's Birthday". After concluding my research, I'm all the more convinced that humanz are even more confused than I previously thought!


≠

The Many Joys of Pretty String

We've told you how fascinated Deer seems by her pretty string. She can actually make sweaters, socks, and mittens with it and just two sticks! Ah...the things humans have to wear since they don't have fur! Maddie loves to watch the string move when Deer pulls on it when she's playing with the string. Sometimes, Maddie can catch it with her paw and, surprise- surprise-surprise, she tries to eat it! She tries to eat everything...but that's a different story!

Well, this weekend, we've discovered even a better use for Deer's pretty string. We've told you before that despite of all of Deer's many redeeming qualities, she does one thing we absolutely HATE all the way down to the tips of our tails: every week, no matter what, she brings out the big, loud scary yellow monster from the front closet and takes it on a walk all through Camp Shorewood. We like it when Macks goes to the front closet 'cause that's where he keeps our most special toy...the bird! But, we know what is about to happen when Deer goes to it...and we take cover even before the beastie comes out!

Usually, we hide in closets.
Sometimes we hide under beds.
Every once and a while we cower in Macks' lap...but he was away this weekend here.

So, we found another good, cozy place to hide: Deer's stash-o-pretty string that she keeps in perfectly cat-sized canvas cubes:





In our most humble opinion, we find that adding cat fur to lambswool, merino, cashmere, and cottons only enhances their value and appearance.

Sharing is caring...

We've worked out a...um... system about sharing the world's most awesome tunnel bed.

Please note, those who do not have an open mind about such things should probably look away:

Feline King of the Hill

From Washie -

I've heard that you humans have a curious tradition of playing a game called King of the Hill on top of huge piles of snow. You may not be aware, but cats have the same type of game. Instead of waging the war on top of snow, we choose a more refined battleground...one of our Christmas presents, a totally awesome tunnel bed!

Always the gentleman, I allowed Maddie first go:

Unfortunately, she was most hesitant to leave her throne:

Ahem, got any New Year's Resolutions, Maddie?

The battle waged on for nearly 30 minutes. My strategy was to let her think I gave up, and then launch a quick strike! I'm sorry to say that it didn't work very well!

What eventually lured her away was the hint of a cat treat from Deer (thanks, Deer!) and I used the clever diversion to my full advantage!

Patience rewarded!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!