...or should it be tails, mateys? Yaar and avast, lubber scum! Lock up your vittles and guard your vitals, or Maddie the Pirate--
Well, enough of that. Apparently you humans recently observed something called Talk Like a Pirate Day. I'm sorry to say the things you do to amuse yourselves can be rather stupid.
Which is not to say I don't indulge myself in a bit of piracy now and then. If Macks and Deer are so incautious as to leave delicious baked goods unattended it's only right and natural that I invoke the right of salvage and claim them for myself!
Pita in a lunchbag? Mine to plunder! Bread in the cupboard? I'll take carbohydrates over pieces of eight! I am Black Maddie, Queen of the Counter-Top!